You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
