I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
