well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
