Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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