Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
