You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
