why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
