I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize