People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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