sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
