Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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