All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
