3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
