There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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