All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
