Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
