First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
