Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
