soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
