In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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