Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I wish there were birth control emojis
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
