Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
