I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
