Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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