So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
