Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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