i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
