Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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