it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
