what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
