I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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