Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
