He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
