We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
be right there i have to get my cape
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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