Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Drunk is not a location!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
