There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
