I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
that's an acceptable place to lick
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
