first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Couch. On fire.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
