No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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