his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
