I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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