New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
