I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I would ride that face into the sunset
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
