I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
