This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
