in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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