Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
