Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
