If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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