it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
