in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
