i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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