Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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